The Comfort Zone Shake Up

When I actually STOP listening to reasoning and just embrace whatever is about to unfold, I usually end up walking out better, than when I had walked in. So whenever anyone asks me, "Jessie, why do you do what you do, they way you do?"... generally at that time, I don't have an answer. I can make something up,... tell you what you want to hear, to do us BOTH a favor... but really, I'm just going on pure gut. Gut and trust/belief.

A few instances this week, I noticed that when walking down the streets, I judge like crazy. Doesn't matter what color you are. If to my understanding of "safe," by presentation, you do not fit, I ignore. That is a nasty habit. More and more, I have been forcing to keep my head up, to everyone I pass by. I should mention that I also have extreme social anxiety. Please understand that communicating and coherent sentences, is already a challenge for me. Throw in other elements, like people who are out of control and my world is rocking! Externally, I do my damndest to just smile and nod.

Over time, it is getting easier! I noticed today, I have a little pep to my step... My Grandma was always to tell me "slow down, now girl!" whenever I would get too "cute" with my behavior. lol.

Also today, I went to a local community center. This place I tell you, felt like a tribe. People of all ages, races, professions, classes... just really enjoying each others company. Everyone was invested in each other, to make sure everyone was happy and relaxed.

I was sitting at this table with this one gentleman. Wait, backup... backstory, first. My cousin tells me, where we live, prostitution is a big thing. Sex trafficing. She also tells me to never walk around at night and to avoid particular areas. She can back all these tales with her own altercation stories, as she has already been mugged twice... but it's me and I have no sense.

But back to this gentlemen,... he was incredibly relaxed and clean and just keeping to himself.

Then there's me.

Fast forward, small talk made, weird introductions, he's teaching me how to play Crazy 8's.

I wanted to be scared. As he was slapping the cards down on the table, I couldn't help thinking as if he'd ever used his hands as weapons. He would hit the table so hard and in the instructions he gave, his tone was harsh like there was history behind his thoughts. "I couldn't beat this guy, he'll kick my ass," also came to mind.

One hour and thirty minutes later, several games of "21" and me teaching him how to play speed and he actually enjoying it... HELLA FUN!

Moral to the story... you might be missing out some crazy memories and new friends with your own judgements. Get out of your mind!